I am sorry that I have been such a problem to everybody. I know that I am not worthy of this life and I am for sure not worthy of the next life.

I see everybody I know with their friends and family and it makes me both happy and sad. It makes me happy to see them happy but it makes me sad because I know that will never be me. I will never have the happiness of a loved one or a family. It would be better for me to just leave.

The best thing that could happen is if I were to die in my sleep.

It has come to my attention that I really serve no purpose here. No matter how much I might like to think I do that is important, much of it is not. The very few things that are important are things that others can do or can learn to do in a very, very short time and will probably do it much better.

The chances of me ever having a true life are almost nil. The chance that i will find someone nice and have a family is 0. The truth is I will probably need more and more help as time goes on. Thus, becoming an even bigger burden to those around me.

My continuing to be here serves little purpose but to be an annoyance to others. As I see it, the reason I have few friends is my own shortcomings. Therefore I do believe it is best to relive them of any attachment to me.

I don't belong here anymore, nobody wants me here anymore, I don't want to be here anymore. Time for me to go away.

I still think it would have been better if I had just died last summer. Then I would have no longer been a problem to anyone. I am really thinking about changing my living will to DNR so that the next time I get really sick and get that close, they will have to let me die. I guess I am just tired of being such a burden to everyone.

I don't think anybody would really miss me if I were gone.