Okay, everybody who is close to me and knows me will probably think a, I have gone off the deep end, and b, I have been watching too much Star Trek.

I won't argue on either point but here is what I know:

There is a scene in Star Trek V where Kirk says he has known he will always die alone. Well, I am Kirk. I have always felt this way, even before the move came out.

In 1992 when everything was happening and I was close to death, I knew I wasn't going to die because I wasn't alone. Each time I woke up some one I loved was there.

In 2008 when I woke in St. Mary's and there was no one there... I had this sinking feeling that I was going to die... I was alone. It wasn't until I woke up and my best friend, his wife / my friend, and the other person I thought was my other best friend was standing there looking at me and holding my hands did I finally feel like I wasn't going to die...