There are 2 reasons why I really don't want to celebrate my birthday this year...

1. This year, already, and last year were just really really rough and I just would like to have some peace and quite.

2. I don't want to have anybody interrupt their schedules for my birthday.

I guess I should start by apologizing to my friends for being mad at them. I realize now that there was nothing intentional, they are just busy... And I don't fit in. Contrary to what they keep saying both to themselves and to me, it is very apparent that I don't belong. I don't understand why they just can't see it. The all have lives, families, and other friends who fit in better with their lives. I don't know if they feel obligated to stick around for some reason or if they are just trying to be nice and not kick me when I am down.

Whatever it is, I don't want to them interrupt their plans to celebrate a day that right now I don't even care about.